THE BOX

It was a HUGE box, approximately 3 foot 8 inches tall, and the same wide. We hadn't gone through it yet partly because of the size and secondly, I guess we felt that opening it signified a finality of some sort. Frankly, I am not sure why we didn't open it. I suppose that some highly educated shrink could have explained, but I was not going to ask. It took awhile, but we finally got up the nerve.
I sat on the bed while Bob tore open the box. I then started pulling out the supplies.
Bed pads were on top. LOTS and lots of bed pads. There were enough bed pads to cover Manhattan with bed pads! We assumed that the staff at the hospital were concerned about our ability to properly secure Bob's bodily functions.
They were immediately stowed in the closet.
Next came five or six boxes of osteo supplies, you know, all of those attachments to a "crip's" body that keep the rest of the world from knowing that you have a "bodily function" control problem There were leg bags, bed bags, catheters, and at the bottom of this pile, KY JELLY:
Pulling out a case of KY Jelly, was the beginning of the end. I started to giggle.
"What's so funny?" Bob asked with his eyes twinkling, "You know what that's for right?" "Yes, I know, but I was wondering how the hell I was going to go into a store and throw this stuff on the counter while keeping a straight face and not blushing!" "Bob, I can't put tampax on the counter without blushing, never mind KY.! I've lived in Boston, I know what some use KY for and it ain't pretty! " " I am VERY sorry, but this is on your shopping list. I can get used to a lot of things, but I don't think this is one of them".
After calming down a bit and wiping the tears (from laughing), I reached in for the final box. It was unmarked and a bit heavy. I mentally went through all the steps of performing as a primary care taker (so I could bring Bob home),we truly had everything required, including a case of baby powder to make his bare butt slippery on the transfer board into the shower!
I opened it with trepidation.
There, inside the box was a spool which held (according to the label) fifty feet of rubber hose.
yep, fifty feet of rubber hose. "What in Hell are we supposed to do with fifty feet of rubber hose? They must have mixed up your order with the janitors or something. What-no mop to clean up the mess???
Bob looked a bit astonished, then he broke out in laughter," I think it is to use on the leg bag, you know, to drain it and to use for the connections." "We have enough here to go to a bar for the entire evening. I could just unwind the spool and throw the end out the door. I could drink beer all night and never have to leave the table!" "Just think about it! We can go visiting-never have to leave the room, drive to Maine,just throw the end out the window and keep on driving!" Bob laughed Leave it to Bob, an aircraft mechanic, to come up with all the angles! The fifty feet of rubber hose proved to be a wonderful gift. I siphoned aquariums,over-flowing bathtubs,gasoline etc. for the next 15 years before we finally ran out. I felt like saving the spool as a memento of the first years of "Cripdom".
Our routine is now set. We go to the store once a week and purchase peanuts(5 pound bag) and the same day I make banana bread, just to keep the "Herd" of squirrels content. Weekends consist of our neighbor Mathew and his friends for popcorn,cartoons and old horror movies, with an occasional movie, thrown in the mix Bob goes to out patient therapy in town and has joined a local wheelchair basket ball team.
The therapy sessions appear to be helping. Bob was able to ambulate at least 20 feet before he" hit the pavement". The insurance company issued him parallel bars and leg braces so he could at least stand for several hours a day. Bless his heart, he worked out every day and stood for 2 hours(at least) every day. Life was good! ) Shortly into our relocation and ou'r "new life", my brother Guy got out of the service and needed a place to stay until he could find an apartment. He is such a .fsweetheart, a little goofy, but a sweetheart, and we had an extra room. That was , "easily settled.
Another phase-begun!